Establish a family computer routine

Let older kids do what you do
If your kids are of the age in which they feel it is critical to check e-mail as soon as they arrive home from school, then give them the chance to do so. "Everyone gets a half-hour for e-mail," says Agra Vagners, a schoolteacher and mother of two girls. Then it's on to the next set of priorities, namely homework.

Homework comes first
If the homework requires use of a computer, "it has to be the right tool at the right time," says Hitchmough. For example, it might be easier to sketch an idea on paper than to prepare it in Microsoft Word. When Vagners's 14-year-old daughter Laura needs to do online research, everyone else has to sit and wait his or her turn.

Consider computers as educational tools
"We're trying to educate [kids] and to make them literate," says Hitchmough. "We're trying to teach them to interpret data and inform themselves and others, and to do what they need to practice." In other words, be open-minded to what technology has to offer. Chatting and participating in online communities might be helping your child to develop important skills.

Set realistic time limits for daily use
When after-school activities, homework, and dinner are over, how much time is left and what's the remaining sequence of priorities for computer games, television, and reading? Setting time limits is something parents have to work out with their children. Vagners's kids hardly use the phone these days—they prefer to chat with friends via MSN Messenger, an activity that comes in second if someone has more serious work to do, like school research.

Nancy Carson, a mother of three boys, usually sets extra computer time for surfing or playing games to about 30 minutes, though "that's not set in stone," she says, and doesn't necessarily happen every day. Her 10-year-old son, Josh, often uses his extra time for projects.

Keep tabs on who's on first
Just as with any other game, chore, or activity, you have to set up a basic system to keep it all fair.

In my house, computer-time rotation is the same as it is with anything else, and the amount of time each child gets depends on the total amount of time available.

Set up separate user profiles
To make the user experience more unique, to save files from being accidentally erased or moved, and to allow for easier sharing, set up separate user profiles for each member of the family. Microsoft Windows XP lets individuals customize their screens and have access to only their personal Web favorites, recently visited sites, and files. To create separate user profiles, click the Start menu, select Settings, and then Control Panel. Double-click User Accounts and then select Create a new account. You, as computer administrator, may also want to set the children's accounts as "limited" (they'll be able to change their passwords, but will not be able to install games or have any other administrative privileges). Using the Microsoft Internet Explorer Content Advisor, you can go a step further and adjust the ratings on language, nudity, sex, and violence to a level deemed appropriate and then override them on a case-by-case basis. (Go to the Tools menu and click Internet Options. Select the Content tab and then click Enable under Content Advisor.)

Make the opening screen age-appropriate
For months our kids were staring at what was for them a boring news page every time they logged onto the Internet. Now each girl has her own launch pad that is easily altered as ages and tastes change. To change the opening screen, go to the Tools menu in Internet Explorer and select Internet Options. On the General tab, under Home page, type the URL of the page that you would like to use as the opening screen.