1. Your bank doesn't seem to value your business. People tend to bank where they bank because of the power of inertia, not necessarily because they love their bank. But is your bank paying attention to you, or just paying lip service? That's important to know, Stern says."When you go to your bank, do they listen to what you want before they try to sell you something?" she asks. "Do they push products in your face? Do you feel like you're being greeted by the bank equivalent of a burger flipper? Do they ask you any questions that help you believe that they are going to match you with the right product? Heck, do they ask you any questions?"

2. Worse yet, they don't really know who you are. Most banks can provide the services that most consumers and small businesses need, so quality of service often matters more than sheer size. That's why Huge Monolithic Bank, with more ATMs and billboards than employees, probably isn't your best bet."What distinguishes banks from one another is how they treat their customers," says John Gaynor, president of Bank of Nevada in Las Vegas. "We are a $160 million bank, and people ask me all the time why should I bank with a small institution like you instead of a Wells Fargo. I ask them when was the last time they sat down and talked with the president of Wells Fargo. I think it's worth having the president of your bank know who you are."The quality of a relationship can depend not just on the size of the bank, but on the quality of the branch. True story: I once went to a local bank for information, and was handed a flier and told nobody was available to talk with me. I then went to a second bank, where an employee took nearly an hour to go over different services and help me decide what was best for me and my business. Naturally, the second bank was the better choice.

3. You don't really know who they are. While lots of consumer-banking functions get handled online today, many small-business owners still need to work face to face with a bank employee when dealing with loans, lines of credit, and other issues. It can be frustrating if, through no fault of your own, the "relationship" you develop with a bank employee winds up being measured in weeks instead of years."If you have to be introduced to a new account officer every three months, that's probably going to really [tick] you off," says Howard Applebaum, executive vice president and senior lending officer at Sterling National Bank in New York. "If we move an account officer from one office to another, he takes his clients with him. That way, there's still a real person at the bank who knows you and your business."Overall, this is going to favor the manufacturer with a brand-new production line over the information services business with rapidly depreciating computer equipment. You can't do much about this, but be aware and plan accordingly.

4. Your bank nickel-and-dime's you to death. It's one thing to have to pay a regular monthly or annual fee for a checking account or credit card. You can plan on those expenses. For many consumers, it's something else entirely to find that you're subject to a laundry list of fees for services that you thought were part of an ordinary banking relationship."There are banks today that if you pick up the phone and talk to a real person who works at the bank, you are going to be charged for the conversation," Gaynor says. "I think a lot of people aren't ready to have their banking relationship be solely with a phone tree. And I think people will pay for service, but they would rather pay a flat fee than get hit with a charge every time they turn around."

5. Your bank seems to want to communicate via the Internet only. Banks can ruin customer relationships by embracing the Internet too wholeheartedly. Most small-business owners still prefer to do at least some of their banking in person and by phone, which is why most Internet-only banks from the late 1990s have disappeared. While online banking does have a valuable role, you can't be happy if the only way you can communicate with your bank is by turning on your computer.Financial institutions have even used physical branches as a growth strategy. "Charles Schwab was very aggressive in opening branches, because they found that in every city where they opened a branch, their market share doubled," says consultant Stern. "That was true even though 98% of their customer business is done online."