Hey, Superwoman: Learn how to take a break!
So what is the hardest lesson for many women entrepreneurs and executives to learn? Surviving the "Superwoman syndrome" and learning to take a break.
Too many women business owners think their enterprise won't go at all unless they're always around to start and steer the engines. As a result, they don't build in any options or resources for taking time away from work.
But without time to recharge, both business and owner are bound to suffer. Let me address why you "taking five" should be a priority.
Why women run round-the-clock schedules
"Women are relatively new to the professional work force and those who get to the top tend to work alone, without much teamwork or mentoring," says organizational psychologist Billie Blair, who founded Leading and Learning, a Los Angeles management consultancy. "Such women often feel that someone else can't do what they've done. Since they only recently got there, they don't want to give up their place."
Women who start their own business frequently arrive at that choice because they didn't feel a fit within traditional (read: male) corporate structures. They are women who learned to play by their own rules. That's usually not the best route to becoming a leader at a traditional corporation.
At best, though, doing everything yourself is a recipe for stunted growth: How can you build a going concern when you, the chief, are the only one who gets the job done? At worst, it's a path to burnout: Dozens of surveys have documented that ongoing stress can lead to personal health problems and business tunnel vision.
If you recognize yourself in this hard driving, perfectionist portrait, take a step back to re-think. And read on to discover women CEOs who broke the pattern and learned to love relaxation as much as their work.
The 'aha' of taking care of yourself
In 2004, Judy Katz, who runs Katz Creative PR in New York, signed up to attend a "Business Spa Retreat," an annual event hosted by the Women's Leadership Exchange (www.womensleadershipexchange.com), a group that supports women-led businesses and a Microsoft partner.
"Like most women entrepreneurs, I was reluctant to sign up," Katz says. "I thought my employees would scatter, my clients would run for the hills, and my business would blow up and disappear if I dared to even get up from my desk. In reality, I had no idea how burned out I was. I came back feeling more energetic and optimistic and empowered than I had in years. I also had more of the tools needed to move forward — not to mention 49 new best friends to support me on my way."
The dark side of the Superwoman complex, Katz says, is that women are afraid to show vulnerability. Asking other women for help is hard. "But stress makes you live like a snail, carrying the burden around with you." The retreat taught Katz that breaks are a business priority. "Treat yourself like a client," she says.
And, oh yes, after returning from the trip, Katz ended up signing the Women's Leadership Exchange as a client for her business.
Coming back from burnout
Dianna Booher founded Booher Consultants, a communication training firm based near Dallas, in 1980. She routinely worked 14-to-16-hour days servicing corporate clients such as Deloitte & Touche, ExxonMobil and Pfizer.
But Booher was forced to change, she says in an e-mail interview.
"In September 1994, I came home from the office at my typical 9 p.m. and fell into bed about midnight. All of a sudden, I felt a stabbing pain through the back of my head, and my whole body began to jerk — as if I'd just stuck my finger in a light socket. I continued to bounce off the bed, as if getting my workout on a trampoline, for the next five hours. The next morning I got up and felt fine, so I went to work to finish a huge client project. Within two weeks, I was falling on the floor walking across the office. Several hospital stays, three neurological specialists and four months later, the diagnosis was propriospinal myoclonus. Cause: Unknown, but aggravated by stress and fatigue. Prescription: Rest and get rid of the stress."
Dianna Booher
That required a systematic overhaul. Booher hired a general manager to oversee operations. She invested in training staff to attain her level of expertise. "I figured out how to clone myself."
Today, Booher, author of "Get a Life Without Sacrificing Your Career," says it was a long adjustment. "I developed a mindset for change. And I now hire with the perspective of always having at least one other person who can do what I do."
5 tips to allow for R&R
If you're also ready for change, here's advice from experts and women business owners who have been there and managed it.
1. Create a backup. Build support structures and safety nets before you actually need any. "Women are socialized to multi-task," says Marta Kagan, whose New York-based company, Lifeline Coaching, advises entrepreneurs. "Putting yourself at the top of the list seems selfish," she says. But that's the way to reach top performance or gain fresh perspective from time off. "You need to create support systems so you can take a vacation, operate when kids are sick, or deal with client emergencies."
2. Say 'no.' Don't sacrifice your personal calendar. "The word 'yes' has ruined more businesses and careers than any other word in the English language. Repeat after me: "When my plate is too full, I'm not effective,'" says Dan Coughlin, author of "Corporate Catalysts: How to Make Your Company More Successful."
3. Announce your plans. "Be specific about the dates you will be away and when you will be returning phone calls," says Suzanne Adele Schmidt, co-owner of Renewal Resources, a consulting firm in Germantown, Md. "Send e-mails outlining your plans and change your voice mail to reflect your down time."
4. Take mini-breaks. For seasonal businesses or companies on the fast track, you can still take a few hours to hit the gym or the movies or get a facial or massage. "A short hop on the weekend is restorative," suggests Debbie Mandel, who runs stress management workshops in the New York area. "And keep a postcard of a vacation retreat to remind you to take time off."
5. Ask for help. Staff members, partners, significant others, relatives and everyone else may have become accustomed to the fact that you simply do everything all the time. Stop. Ask for support. Likely, you'll be happily surprised.
Of course, all such advice adds up to a full dose of common sense. Yet women business owners still tend to think it all applies to the other entrepreneurs, not them. In the end, it will be up to you to decide that being imperfect is human and it's OK to take a break.
Or, for the diehards in the audience, take the advice of Lisa MacKenzie, who runs a marketing agency in Portland, Ore.: Every Jan. 15, she says, buy a nonrefundable air ticket to go somewhere before Dec. 30 rolls around.