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VOTE
Arial
OUR NATION’S FIRST FAMILY OF TYPE
Why Vote Arial?
Arial is the choice of decency, democracy, freedom and justice. Top industrialists believe that Arial increases productivity amongst manufacturing workers. This nation’s brave young police officers agree that road signs set in Arial are more likely to be obeyed. Even the poor love Arial for what it has done to improve housing and literacy levels.
Our Opponent’s Lies
This fax is currently being distributed by our opponents, in violation of special rules...
Opponent’s Secret HQ 25 May 1996 – 13.35
We call on all our supporters to help us prevent Arial from taking office. Arial must be stopped so that our own evil, twisted plans may be put into operation. Arial must be stopped, by any necessary means, legal or illegal.
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A hard-hitting poster campaign will be organized, which tells all kinds of evil untruths about Arial. We will bribe corrupt public officials to hound Arial. We will leak made-up stories to our friends in the press. We will deface all printed material set in Arial by adding serifs or by drawing sad faces in ‘O’s and ‘D’s. Our colleagues in the criminal underworld will exert ‘presure’ on any designer we identify as already using Arial.
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Time is short. The Arial campaign is building momentum. This typeface MUST NOT be allowed to thwart our plans for world domination... ha ha ha ha!
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